So it’s been awhile. I haven’t felt the need to talk much about my hearing lately because, at 3.5 years post-implant, there’s not a lot of new things going on. I go through my days alone, spend a lot of my workdays on the phone (!), and have little issues in my daily life unless I forget to actually put my hearing devices on in the morning. But I want to address a few issues for people with hearing loss in the current pandemic that I have personally run into.Continue reading
I came across an audition notice today for “Clue: The Musical” and for a fleeting moment thought I should audition. Every time I hear about this show, my heart drops a little bit and I feel the sadness of my loss all over again. For many people who are hard-of-hearing, the words “hearing loss” are not used. For me, it is very much a part of me – it was a very big loss in my life that caused depression and PTSD. I don’t believe I would be close to where I am today if I hadn’t fully embraced, grieved, and dealt with that loss. So yes, I am perfectly okay with identifying as a person with hearing loss.
About a year ago, I wrote about going up to Chicago for a Debbie Gibson concert and all of the social anxiety that surrounded me due to my hearing loss, how I almost didn’t get in the car because of it. Today I have a new story so far removed from that I find myself wondering if I’m even the same person I was even just a year ago. Since this is actually a blog about my hearing and not my rock star life, I’ll really try to keep it related to that… maybe.
It’s very easy to get comfortable in a rhythm, where you feel like you fit. Whether or not you like that rhythm doesn’t matter, it’s easy. You’re in sync with your life and in rhyme with the people around you. When you face an ongoing challenge, such as hearing loss or chronic illness, it’s common to lose that. You have to constantly find new ways to function and find your old rhythm and rhyme or challenge yourself to find new ones. I try to always choose to work towards new ones, so this last month I’ve purposely pushed myself into some challenging hearing situations – new accents and a new language.
Never has the power of silence been stronger than yesterday. Emma González stood in silence for 3 minutes – half the time it took for her 17 schoolmates to be shot. As I watched her speech, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I was moved. While her words said a lot, her silence said more.